Somnus Kedavra, The Awakening Of Hope
by MoonyAddict
Summary: [DH SPOILERS] “They sacrificed to save one another: this created a stall between the life they protected and the death they chose to face… It's a very powerful magic, very little is known about it… It can be reversed… I just don't know how.” [RemusTonks]
1. Hope Never Dies

**A/N:** After DH, my disappointment led me here in a limb of denial, where I am basking in the awesome theory I made up and explained in this story. It will be a multichapter, but yet I don't how long exactly it will be. If you, like me, refuse to accept Remus' and Tonks' unfair and so undeserved deaths, then this is the story for you. It could fit in the book quite easily, so you might grasp at this hope and place it right between the final battle and the _19 Years Later_. What would you get? Below is the answer.

* * *

_So many dreams were broken and so much was sacrificed  
Was it worth the ones we loved and had to leave behind?_

_(Within Temptation, Hand of Sorrow)_

* * *

Everything seemed to be under a spell, buried under a heavy blanket of silence and stillness. There were vague, muffled sounds all around, weak dream-like voices coming from indiscernible sources, and it was cold, a coldness that felt worse than ice. It was a coldness that felt like death.

Remus wondered why he could not move a muscle, tried several times to open his eyes, injecting all the little strength he still had in his body in the attempt, but everything was in vain.

He couldn't remember where he was, what had happened, nor why he was like imprisoned in a paralysed coat that wouldn't obey his brain's commands.

The one thing he was aware of was the peculiar peacefulness surrounding him, the lack of any pain, either physical or emotional. He basked in this complete sense of unawareness for he didn't know how long, unable to perceive anything but the blinding whiteness in his mind.

Suddenly a scary thought crept into his head and gave him a strong feeling, violent and fierce, that he managed to classify as fear.

_Am I dead?_

It was the only plausible explanation. But who was he? And why was he dead?

As he struggled to unbury lost memories from the dark depths of his soul, a voice surfaced from the confused tangle of emotions he was seeking through. A gentle, funnily indignated voice.

"_Don't call me Nymphadora, Remus… It's Tonks."_

Remus. He was Remus. Remus John Lupin, born on the 10th of May, 1960. But who was Tonks? Whom did that sweet, feminine voice belong to?

He tried to concentrate.

A pair of deep dark eyes stared at him smiling, almost teasingly, from a young and beautiful heart-shaped pale face. Short, vivid pink hair. A smile. A bright, loving smile. Then tears, the same heart-shaped face scrawny and shaded by a deep sadness, no smile. Greyish brown hair, lank, gloomy. Was it the same girl he was seeing?

_Nymphadora…_

She was important, he knew she was… Very important… If only he would manage to recover something from this oblivion he seemed to have fallen in.

"_I don'__t care! I've told you a million times…"_

He had hurt her, and although he didn't know how, he felt like a million thorns were digging into his heart.

His heart.

He couldn't tell whether it was beating or not, if he was breathing, but he didn't care. He wanted – needed – to recall who Nymphadora Tonks was.

"_I love you, Mr Lupin."_

"_I love you, too, Mrs Lupin."_

His wife. Nymphadora Tonks was his wife. But there was a ringing bell telling him there was more to this, that something was wrong with her being his wife…

He felt his love for this girl spread all inside him like a warm wave of light, but an unbearable pain came along. Pain. Why pain? He loved her, she loved him…

_"What's wrong with you?"_

Concern.

_"Don't make me say this, Remus. You don't want to hear."_

_"Tonks… Please…"_

Fear. Tears in her bloodshot eyes. Shivers.

_"I'm pregnant."_

Anger.

Disappointment.

Blankness, then a sudden awareness.

_I'm a werewolf._

Grief.

Guiltiness.

Fear, again.

_Teddy._

He had a son, a baby son. Where was he? And where was Nymphadora? He had a huge hole in his memory, he wanted to remember, but the more he tried, the less he could find.

Bellatrix… Greyback… Two green flashes of light from opposite directions, his body and Nymphadora's in the middle.

_I shielded her from Bellatrix's curse, she shielded me from Grayback's… And then what happened?_

Nothing but emptiness, nothing but senseless, unfocused images and incomprehensible, remote whispers.

_If I'm dead, she must be, too._

More grief.

He felt like crying, but his feelings were not connected to his body, whose perception was only something he thought he once had had, but which couldn't quite remember.

He felt lost, lost and hopeless, even if he couldn't spot what exactly hope was. A good thing, perhaps… No, definitely.

He had fought, he had struggled against masked people with black cloaks. Death Eaters, dark wizards, Voldemort's army. He and Nymphadora had duelled with Bellatrix and Greyback, back to back, until the end, until the two Unforgivable Curses had hit them at the same time. They had both died to protect each other from death.

_If I'm dead, why isn't this over? Why do I feel, why do I remember?__ Wasn't this supposed to be the end?_

Lights and shadows were one only thing, sounds and silence melted into a unique droning litany out of his mind, out of everything. Wherever he was, whatever had happened to him, there was _something_ outside.

He tried again to move, to force his eyes open, but nothing happened. But if he was dead, if he didn't have a body anymore, that made sense, after all. So that was what being dead felt like? He was going to relive his life over and over, regretting his mistakes, missing the wonderful things he had unexpectedly found on his way?

_I don't want to be dead… My life has just begun… My wife, my son… I _can't_ be dead_.

"They're dead."

"They look so peaceful…"

Cries, sobs, sniffles. Where was it all coming from?

"Oh, Fred!"

_Molly. Molly Prewett Weasley… Who's this woman? I feel like I know her…__ And Fred, too._

"Oh, no, zat eez 'orrible… Remus, Tonks… I can't believe eet…"

A known French accent, a girl, doubtlessly, and she was weeping, her voice cracked. He knew her, too.

"What will it be of little Teddy?"

Molly, again.

_And Teddy… My __beloved little boy…_

Where were all the people he heard? He knew them, he knew he did. He just couldn't… remember…

"Mom," A boy's voice, broken as well. George's voice. "They look different from – from, Fred. They – they look so serene… Looks like they're just – just asleep."

A pause of silence. Someone was touching his face. The gentle, unmistakable touch of a woman.

_I feel it… Why do I feel it? I'm dead, I shouldn't be feeling it…_

"You don't theenk – I mean, I saw zem being 'eet by two Avada Kedavra in ze same moment, defending one anozer… Eef – eef it was… Maybe?"

His hand was lifted by another, a firm grip, though shaky. The hand of a man.

"He feels – he feels warm, Mum."

_Bill… This is Bill. What's going on? Why do I hear them, feel their touches?_

"Tonks feels warm, as well." Said Fleur, hesitation trembling through her words.

_Tonks__! Tonks is here! I need to see her, I need to know what's been of her… Tonks – Nymphadora – my Nymphadora… My wife._

"F – Fred feels cold… Very cold." Cried Molly, sobbing heavily. "And his – his face looks pained."

"Professor," Bill spoke feebly. "Do you – do you think it could really be –?"

"I don't know, Bill. I've never seen in person, never – I'd heard of this – taught for years, but – honestly didn't believe – a legend –"

_Minerva McGonagall, my Tra__nsfiguration teacher in school… We've been colleagues for one year, I remember. What are they talking about? And Fred… Is young Fred dead, too?_

"If there is a hope – any hope, for either of them – or both – what can we do?" asked Bill tentatively, almost desperately.

"I don't know how to awake them." Said professor McGonagall faintly. "Alastor could have – he surely would have managed – but I can't, I don't know…"

Remus could hear everything, feel their movements around him, but could not possibly communicate with them. He didn't know what was happening, he was suddenly scared and worried. What was this hope they were all talking about?

_They say I feel warm – that Nymphadora feels warm… Death is not supposed to feel warm.__ But, still, I can't move, nor see, nor utter a word. If this isn't death, then what is it?_

"I know Albus had a book about this – about Somnus Kedavra – and how to reverse it…" said Minerva's stuttering, throaty voice.

"We '_ave_ to try!" stated Fleur's determined voice. "We 'ave notheeng to lose."

Remus couldn't understand; he wanted to scream, to writhe, to shout, he wanted to know… But all he could do – all his state allowed him – was to just grasp at that unknown hope, and wait.

* * *

TBC

* * *

****

**A/N:** First chapter over. I hope you liked it and will leave a review to fuel my eagerness to continue. Every review will be rewarded with Chocolate Frogs and a kiss from your fave HP character! ; )


	2. On The Wrong Side Of The Veil

_Made me promise I'd try  
To find my way back in this life  
I hope there is a way  
To give me a sign you're ok _

_(Within Temptation, Memories) _

_

* * *

_

Tonks was in utter daze. Looking around herself, she saw the Great Hall of Hogwarts, oddly bathed by a glowing white light, apparently deserted.

_What the hell –? _

She thought she must have missed something, because the last thing she could remember was herself and Remus striving to prevent one another from being killed by Bellatrix's and Greyback's curses, in that very spot she was now sitting in dismay, trying to realise what had happened and why everything now looked so still and silent, so peaceful. So unreal.

She felt light, as if she had no conscience, as if every sin had been washed from her soul, leaving it pure and candid. A nice, irrational happy feeling slowly took over her as her eyes got used to all that blinding light. For some reason, everything felt softened and muffled in that place that resembled Hogwarts impressively, but which – she was absolute – couldn't be Hogwarts: it looked weirdly, unnaturally out of time.

_Where's everyone? What happened to me – to all the others? _

Sheer blankness reigned inside her mind; all she knew was what had happened until she was invested by the green jet of light, but how, after that, she happened to be still perfectly conscious and master of herself, she couldn't explain.

"Faye?"

Tonks' head spun up at once in the direction the rough, familiar voice had come from. Her heart made a jump in her throat as her eyes set on a broadly smiling Sirius Black, who was offering her a hand to pull her up from the ground.

"Coz," she exclaimed, astonished, as he helped her stand on her feet. "What – what are you doing here?"

Sirius' smile became even broader. He looked a lot better than she remembered: healthier, younger, and even vaguely ethereal, even with those ragged clothes he was wearing. Tonks could clearly remember, as if it'd been yesterday, that those were the clothes he was wearing the day he died.

"What are _you_ doing here, Faye." He replied, seemingly concerned. "This is not exactly where I'd have expected to –"

Tonks had never seen him so pleased and surprised before. He looked glad to see her, but at the same time her presence, for some reason, seemed to disturb him.

"Faye," Sirius grabbed her by the shoulders, an expression halfway between incredulous and curious lingering on his features. "How – how did you get here?"

_Nice question, coz, really. _

"Wish I had a clue." She answered with a small sigh. "One moment ago I was in the middle of a battle, and now –"

"Hey, Paddy!"

Behind Sirius, a boy and a girl, holding hands, were coming through the Hall; a boy and a girl whom Tonks had no difficulty to recognise, despite her memories of the two of them were nothing but mere flashes of a long past time.

_"You look so much like James, Harry…" _

For the first time ever, Tonks became truly aware of what everyone meant by that: James Potter was a young man – very close to Harry in age, and therefore even more similar to him than she had ever imagined – with a messy tangle of jet black hair and the precise features his own son bore. Harry's eyes, however, unmistakably belonged to the girl standing closely by James, who was smiling kindly. Lily Potter was pretty, gentle-looking, and seemed to be about the same age as Tonks herself. It was hardly conceivable that this young couple were actually the parents of the eighteen-year-old boy she knew.

"Prongs, Lily," Sirius greeted brightly, still sounding vaguely dismayed by his unexpected encounter with Tonks. "Come, come here, remember my little coz Nymphadora?"

"_Tonks_." She corrected automatically.

The pair approached, two welcoming grins sported on their mouths.

"Very nice to see you again, Tonks," said James, as he and Lily shook hands with her. "Last time we met, you were a kiddo with long electric-blue hair and a thing for crazy flights on her broomstick," He chuckled at her spiky pink hair and Weird Sisters shirt. "Looks like time didn't steal away your nerve… Good girl!"

She blushed at this unexpected confidence he was using, but also started to understand why he, Remus and Sirius had been such close friends. She could just picture them, laughing together in a Transfiguration class for some silly joke, in front of a highly disapproving professor McGonagall. That was certainly a show she would have enjoyed.

"How's everything going on the other side of the Veil?" demanded Sirius, displaying a nonchalance that left Tonks quite stunned. She barely had the time to think about where to start, when suddenly a striking apprehensiveness took over her: she was talking to three people who had lost their lives years ago, and this was, by no mean, normal. She felt the earth beneath her feet crumble down as a scary question formed on her trembling lips.

_The other side of the Veil… _

"Am I – am I dead?" She asked, although very afraid to find out the answer. The other three exchanged mild smiles and shook their heads no, but Tonks couldn't help feeling a bit sceptical.

"Are you sure?"

Lily gave her a comforting wink and pointed a finger at her feet.

"That's the proof you're anything but dead."

Tonks' eyes dropped downward: all she could see was her combat boots and the marble floor of the Hall. Not entirely absolute she'd got the point, she looked up again and scowled quizzically.

"You have a shadow." explained Lily, and only then Tonks noticed none of the three people in front of her, though immersed in the same light as she was, had a shadow beneath their feet.

"Shadows are the symbol of corporeity, and dead people, here, are just immaterial souls, projections of who they were the moment they… _Left_. " Sirius continued. "You're as dead as the three of us are alive."

"But this is – I mean, you're all – well – _gone_, so this has to be –"

"Afterlife." Answered James, with the casual tone of someone who'd just pointed out that ice was cold. Tonks shivered instinctively. Dead or alive, it wasn't good that she was there.

"But what am I doing here, then?"

"Dunno," Sirius shrugged and lifted a brow. "Missed me?"

"Sirius, I'm _serious_!" Tonks snapped. "I was hit by an Avada Kedevara, I –" She gulped nervously, picking at the hem of her sleeve, as a horrible thought crossed her mind. "By any chance, has anyone –" She nibbled convulsively at her bottom lip, and literally had to force the words out of her mouth. "Has anyone of you seen Remus around here?"

"Moony?" James exclaimed in genuine surprise.

"Yeah, he was – we were fighting together."

"What the hell's going on, down there?" Sirius meddled, his tone suddenly anxious.

"War." Tonks muttered, tears welling in the corners in her eyes. "So nobody's seen Remus?"

They all shook their heads. Tonks exhaled a relieved sigh and fought back the urgency to cry. At least she knew he wasn't dead… yet. She rubbed her eyes with a hand and silently prayed he was fine.

"Whoa!" Sirius shouted, startling her. He grabbed her hand and stared at it in wonder. "This is a wedding band, isn't it? A _wedding band_! My lil' coz got married!"

Tonks quickly withdrew her hand, but, despite herself, a large grin spread through her lips, and she nodded.

"Congratulations!" Sirius pulled her in a breathtaking hug. "Who's the lucky bastard you have to threaten on my account?"

From above Sirius' shoulder, Tonks saw a subtle, knowing half smirk design over Lily's face.

"Can't you guess on your own, Sirius?" the redhead said, getting an inquiring look from her husband.

"What d'you mean?"

Lily ignored him and addressed Tonks a beaming look.

"It's _him_, isn't it?"

Biting her lower lip to stifle a wide sheepish smile, Tonks nodded. Lily left her husband's hand to launch toward her and steal her from Sirius' embrace to pull her into one of her own.

"You don't know how happy I am to hear this," squealed Lily ecstatically. "Remus deserves a girl like you by his side."

"_What?_"

Both Sirius' and James' jaws dropped and their eyes grew wide as they stared at Tonks in sheer shock, disbelief painted on their faces.

"You – you married… You married _Moony_?" Sirius faltered, unable to keep an excited vibe away from his voice.

Released by Lily's hug, Tonks put on a proud face.

"I did. Several months ago, actually."

James, who seemed to be too marveled – or too stunned, anyway – to quit giggling madly, finally managed to put a whole sentence together:

"Married as in _vows, feast and sex_?"

"Yep." Tonks confirmed, slightly amused by the little mayhem she seemed to have provoked.

"No way!" said James and Sirius together. Lily rolled her eyes.

Tonks couldn't help feeling unpleasantly out of context with them, because she had nothing to do with their world, she hadn't belonged to the past they'd shared, and felt like an outsider in the sort of family they formed.

"I will believe this only when I have concrete and tangible evidence of all of this before my own eyes." Declared James, holding up a finger in mock solemnity.

Tonks felt a tiny, nostalgic smile tug at her lips.

"I'm sure Remus would be overjoyed to introduce y'all to our Teddy."

"_Your_ Teddy?" asked Sirius curiously, clearly oblivious to the subtle hint Tonks had put in her statement.

"Ted Remus Lupin," she replied quietly, her heart swollen with proudness. The mere sound of her son's name burned in her and aroused a deep need to have him in her arms. "The concrete and tangible evidence that Remus and I did at least one of the three things James listed."

She realised her attempt to inject some humour in her tone had miserably failed.

Three incredulous – and somewhat disconcerted – faces gaped at her. Sirius, in particular, appeared to be dealing with an inner fight between bursting out laughing or into tears.

"You – you and Moony… _A baby_?"

Tonks nodded, her need to see her husband and her son – to _know_ they were fine – growing every moment. She wrapped her arms around herself as another cold shiver ran through her spine.

_This is insane… How can I be sure I haven't gone mad? _

"My little Faye's a Mummy." Sirius breathed, denial oozing from every syllable he spoke. "And Moony's a Daddy." He shared a shocked gaze with James and Lily. "How come Ted didn't tell us?"

"Dad?" Tonks interjected brusquely, a knot tied in her throat. She missed her Dad so much. "Where's he? Can I see him?"

"Slow down, Mrs Lupin," Sirius cut her off, and for the first time Tonks thought he was seriously worried. "I'm not entirely sure your presence here should be underestimated."

"What d'you mean, Paddy?" asked James, casting Tonks a brief, surreptitious glance, almost like – she had this feeling – he was afraid to profane Remus' territory.

In another world, a happy world where Voldemort never existed, she was sure the all of them – Tonks, Remus, Sirius, Lily and James – would have had a beautiful life together, but then again, she knew it was because of the war that she'd met Remus, and, egoistically, she reasoned it was worth every single day of grief. A guilty pang gripped her stomach as she tried not to think the three people standing in front of her had died by the hand of the man who had unconsciously given her the chance to find her tumultuous way to happiness.

"She belongs to the world of the Living," Sirius stated, absently waving a hand toward Tonks and her solitary shadow. "She's not supposed to be here, she's – she's _alive_, Prongs!"

Lily stepped ahead, eyeing each of them soothingly.

"Let us stay calm, Sirius, I'm sure she already feels shaken enough."

"How about going to Dumbledore?" James suggested. "I bet he'll be able to clear our questions. Besides I reckon he'd be pleased to see Nym –" He met Tonks' warning glare. "To see _Tonks_, and he could easily help her find her father."

Tonks was not so eager to see Dumbledore (she still felt some instinctive resentment toward him for having sent Remus off with the werewolves and put his life in extreme danger so many times), but forced herself to ponder the possibilities: she could stay here and wonder for Merlin knew how long what she was doing – if she wasn't really dead – on the wrong side of the Veil, or she could go to Dumbledore, swallow her rage, and ask for answers. After all, he was still one of the greatest wizards ever, he must know something.

"Dumbledore it is." She decided, in the end. She looked resolutely at her cousin's scrawny but loving face, at James' friendly eyes, and at Lily's encouraging smile, and felt a little more confident in her destiny.

_If there's a bloody way to go back, I'm going to find it. _

* * *

TBC

* * *

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**A/N:** I need to thank you all for your awesome words, it was a real comfort to me to know there are so many other people who did not accept the many insults Rowling shoved across Remus' (but also Tonks') face in this book. Their deaths were unfair and so sadly underestimated... But this is why this story is here! It's a reasonable explanation we can insert in the book to make it a little bit better. Reviews, again, make me happy and eager to go on with this, so just drop a word and let me know what you think. ; )

P.S. For those who wonder: Faye is a little nickname I made up for Tonks. It's feminine and cool, and I like it way better than Dora, so I thought it'd be nice if Sirius would call her that... It just sounds cute and affectionate of him.


	3. A Mother's Tears

_Take my hand as I wander through,  
All my life I gave to you.  
Take my hand as I wander through,  
All my love I gave to you_

_(Within Temptation, Restless) _

_

* * *

_

_"Historians have often referred to Somnus Kedavra as one of the greatest and yet most obscure mysteries in the whole History of Magic. Nowadays, even the most experienced and cultured wizards ignore what powers hide beneath this arcane portent, and no concrete proof that such an exceptional phenomenon has ever truly happened has been found, so far, but several and concordant clues have appeared through the ages in the books and essays written by some of the most illustrious wizards. _

_In the Ancient Book of All Magics, Merlin in person writes: _

_'Only real, uncontaminated love, under its each and every manifestation – whether it is a mother's affection for a son, or the fondness toward a friend, or the kind of love binding two lovers – can lead to this most powerful enchantment, which can, in very precise and peculiar conditions, cause a sort of unbreakable shield from the Avada Kedavra curse. Many people have died to protect a beloved one from death, but just once, with my own eyes, have I witnessed to a prodigy that words can hardly tell: two lives offered as a toll to pay to protect one another from the same Deathly Curse, two sacrifices whose purpose was to save each other. Hence, each life was saved, thanks to the other's protection, but also, each life was sacrificed, to provide this very protection. This created a balance between the death claimed by the curses, and the impossibility to rip each of the two lives from the respective bodies, for both were safely shielded by the Greatest Sacrifice. When Somnus Kedavra falls upon them, people are imprisoned in a limb between the Living and the Dead, their lives, asleep, locked into their material body, which assumes every characteristic trait of death, and yet is alive. It is however required a great amount of sincerity of feelings, and surely a bravery the most of wizards and witches ignore, to have this happening, and the rarity – if not uniqueness – of this event does not but confirm how pure, disinterested love is as rare to find as a sunbeam in the night._'_" _

However tired and weak he felt, Harry, as anybody else in the room, was all ears as professor McGonagall read through the passage of the book, shiny silver spectacles pinned on her nose. It had been a big relief for him to hear that under that mortal mask, Remus and Tonks were in truth still alive. He couldn't understand how it was possible (especially because he'd met Remus' ghost – or whatever it was – in the Forest, with Sirius and his parents), nor he had ever heard about this Somnus Kedavra before, but what Hermione had been able to tell him – because, of course, she _knew_ about Somnus Kedavra – had been a source of great expectations, now largely confirmed by the contents of the book the professor had in front of her. It was nice and soothing, someway, to have something to hope for, and there was no better condition than the aftermath of a war to fuel hopes.

It was heartbreaking to just sit there, in the Hospital Wing of Hogwarts, with all the distraught-looking Weasleys around, Fred's lifeless body lying on one of the beds, right beside Remus and Tonks, whose faces were as diaphanous as death, and yet so placid.

Next to Harry, Hermione barely seemed to be able to keep herself together, and sat with her head nestled under Ron's armpit, his arm above her shoulders. On the other side of the room, a very bloody Bill was doing the same with his wife.

Everyone was injured – luckily not too seriously – and needed to rest, crushed under the unbearable weight left by the battle, the horrors they'd faced and losses they couldn't prevent, but they were all too concerned about Lupin and Tonks' condition.

They all watched in anticipation as professor McGonagall laid the book down on Madam Pomfrey's desk and, taking the spectacles off with a wounded hand, gave a little sigh.

"And with the very complicated instructions for the Awakening Potion following, this is what the book says about Somnus Kedavra." she announced contritely and scanned the people in the room from her chair, her face marked by such a deep grief that Harry thought she would never be able to smile again. "You will all agree with me that this is very poor information for us, and our intent is more likely to fail rather than succeed."

Harry caught a hint of hopelessness he couldn't just let go.

"But –?"

"Nonetheless," McGonagall continued, shooting him a severe glare. "I shall not permit that two victims of this war will be left for dead when there is even a slimmest chance to save them." Her voice was as firm as ever, but unshed tears shimmered in her glossy eyes. "The war is over, and we are all craving for rest and comfort, but I want to hope everyone of you will be willing to help bringing Remus and Nymphadora Lupin back with us."

A loud, high-pitched sob escaped from Mrs Weasley's lips; she pressed a handkerchief onto her mouth and screwed her eyes in sorrow. Mr Weasley held her closer to him and patted her shoulder soothingly.

"I'm in," said Fleur in a touched but definitive tone, pivoting with a fierce look on her face. "Whatever it takes, I want zem to return to ze life zey 'ad just begun togezer. I want little Teddy to 'ave 'is parents back."

Harry was sincerely admired by her determination, and this seemed to light a fierce fire in him, a strong want to give back to Remus and Tonks what they'd been stolen because of him. Observing the couple, Harry noticed for the first time how beautiful Tonks was, how graceful, and how younger Remus looked when she was with him, even now.

"I'm in, too," he declared firmly. "Just tell me what I have to do, and I'll do it. Anything."

In that very moment Hermione, her dirty face crossed by trails of tears, untangled herself from Ron's arms and stood up, wearing an expression that mirrored Fleur's perfectly. Ron followed suit a second later.

Within moments, every person in the room had stood on their feet or moved a resolute step onward, under McGonagall's praising gaze.

"Excellent," she said, and Harry would swear she was on the hedge of tears. "Now, as to the potion –"

There was a loud noise, dreadfully similar to an explosion, that made everyone jolt up in panic and turn anxiously behind to look at the entrance: the two heavy doors had flung open wide, revealing the dark figure of a hooded but unmistakable woman, half-hidden in the shadows, holding something in her arms. The stranger stood motionless for a moment, then started walking ahead as a hand rose to lower the hood. Long, shiny brown hair fell out of it.

Through the hallway came Andromeda Tonks, little Teddy comfortably cuddled in a bundle within her protective arms, asleep. Harry didn't need to wonder why she was here: news spread quickly, especially when particularly bad, and he doubted the owl McGonagall had sent mere minutes before had come to Andromeda before the more or less well-founded rumours about the fallen.

She marched in silence in their direction, her dark robe waving behind her, her head high and straight, composed and noble-looking like Harry thought a real Black would look, and yet so visibly devastated inside. Her still remarkable beauty was darkened by heavy shades of sorrow, her grace like misted by the inner woe, and this seemed to stress her resemblance to Bellatrix, making it somehow more evident.

When she came to a halt in front of them all, Harry noted her slender fingers were almost clutched around Teddy's tiny body, as if she was afraid that he could be stolen from her any moment. Harry could honestly not blame her.

Nobody uttered a sound as her dark eyes studied everyone in silence; she took a moment to observe in reverence Fred's deathly looks, then, when her gaze moved to the two close beds where Tonks and Remus lied, everybody seemed to keep their breath, for such was the sympathy toward this woman that they all felt like dying a little more inside along with her.

Andromeda stared at her daughter for what felt like an eternity, studying her wounds and the blood that covered her body, fixing impassively the angelic expression she bore, but it was only when her attention lay on Remus that her emotional equilibrium appeared to falter.

She swallowed hard, clearly endeavouring not to let go of the tears that had collected along her eyelids, and did not take her look off both Remus and Tonks as she spoke in a low whisper:

"It doesn't look like they suffered."

There was a nearly imperceptible vibe in her voice, which gave away a profound agony that she seemed determined to keep hidden, or at least at bay. An uncontrollable anger mounted within Harry's chest: this woman had run a very serious risk for him, jeopardising her own and her family's safety in order to protect him, and now, with her husband gone and her daughter lying so still and pale under blood-stained blankets, her whole world must feel like falling apart.

"My daughter, my only child…" Andromeda breathed throatily, transfixed by Tonks' morbid appearance. "My little Dora is dead."

Harry's gaze fell on Teddy, who was the living portrait of peacefulness in her arms, untouched by the sufferance surrounding him. Harry felt for him: he felt proud to be his godfather, and he would do anything for him, but he knew that all that baby really needed was his parents. It was unfair. It was damn unfair, and it was something he was all willing to change: Remus and Tonks would come back, alive and healthy, no matter what, because they just deserved it.

"The situation is a little more complicated than what you think, Andromeda." Professor McGonagall replied softly, standing on her feet. "It is not death making them look like this."

Andromeda's head raised slowly, her pallid face asking for further explanations.

"They sacrificed to save one another;" McGonagall said gravely. "This created a stall between the life they protected and the death they chose to face." A small smile of hope curved her thin lips. "They are alive, but imprisoned in death."

Andromeda fixed the soft white blanket around Teddy, studying him devotedly. Harry knew that look: he'd seen it before, in the Mirror of Erised, on his own mother's face.

"What is this supposed to mean?" Andromeda scrutinised McGonagall, her eyes full of misery. "What – what kind of –"

"Somnus Kedavra," McGonagall said. "Their mutual love protected them. It's a very powerful magic, very little is known about it… It can be reversed… I just don't know how, exactly –"

"Somnus Kedavra?" Andromeda cast a doubtful glance at Remus, and it lingered on his many scars and fresh wounds, her expression a mixture of hostility and regret. "That's a myth, a popular tale…" Her eyes shifted sorely to Tonks. "And, in any case, all the love in this world couldn't have saved her from my sister's hatred."

"She was not killed by Bellatrix, Andromeda." Said Mr Weasley sweetly. "Minerva's telling the truth: she protected Remus from Greyback's attack, it was Greyback's curse that – that hit her. And Remus took Bellatrix's curse for her."

Andromeda sat down on her daughter's bed and, holding Teddy with one arm, started running her fingers through Tonks' pink hair.

"Since she met him, it's always been like there was nobody else in her life," Andromeda recalled. "I know how much she loved him, how much she cared for him," She sniffled feebly. Harry's brain couldn't help detecting a light hint of bitterness in her tone. "Way more than for herself or anybody else."

"Zere's still 'ope, Messus Tonks," intervened Fleur firmly. "We still can bring zem back, or at least try our best to make eet."

Bill sided his wife, encircling her shoulders with his arm, and a comforting smile lit up his disfigured face.

"Fleur's right." He stated. "Everyone in this room wants Nymphadora and Remus to return, and we won't give up until we succeed."

Andromeda looked at each of them and nodded gratefully, even if Harry was of the opinion she didn't look quite trustful.

"Thank you."

A broken sob escaped from her lips as a tear rolled down her face and fell upon Teddy's little nose, awakening him.

Harry's heart skipped a beat as a very familiar pair of amber eyes fluttered open and smiled at the woman. Andromeda placed a delicate kiss on Teddy's rare blond hair and wiped her own tear from his nose.

"Did you hear that, sweetie?" she whispered to him. "Mummy and Daddy will soon be fine… They will be here with us again."

Teddy gave a merry squeak and waved his tiny arms in the air, addressing a toothless smile at his grandmother.

"I'm sure we'll make it," said Ginny, who had so far been silent, from her mother's side. Her face, like Hermione's, was marked by tears, but she wore a firm, confident smile. "They have a lot of very good reasons to hold on."

All of a sudden, Harry was reminded why he was so fond of this girl, why he loved her so much that wouldn't give it a second thought to place himself between her and an Avada Kedavra. An image of himself and Ginny fighting like Remus and Tonks had done – with every fiber of their being, with every drop of energy, until the end – flashed through his mind: he could barely stand the thought of the indescribable horror it must be to know that nothing you could do, not even dying, could spare the one you loved from death.

"We shall start brewing the Awakening Potion immediately," said professor McGonagall, leaving the desk to reach Andromeda and place a hand on her shoulder. "I'm displeased to say that it would have been very much easier, had professor Snape been here to help. Unfortunately, we are going to have to rely on our own skills and hope it will be enough."

"Professor," Hermione's hand timidly rose in midair. "Professor, I have a question."

"Yes, Miss Granger?"

"Given the extreme difficulty of this potion, shouldn't we – I dunno – ask professor Slughorn to prepare it for us, maybe?"

Harry and all the others turned to the professor, but she hung her head and shook it.

"We can try and ask him for useful suggestions, of course, but the potion is to be made by the hand of someone whose deepest desire is to bring them back." And she turned to Andromeda.

The other woman stared down at the ground, her hair hiding her expression. Harry was not completely sure her deepest desire was to bring _both_ Tonks and Remus back.

Andromeda intercepted his look and assumed a challenging expression, and he had the sensation she could read his thoughts through his eyes (was she such an extraordinary Legilimant?).

"There is nothing I wouldn't do for Nymphadora," she declared dryly, her voice trembling slightly under the emotional overload. "And I will not forget what Remus did for her." She stood up, with the same elegance and composure she had shown coming in, and quickly wiped her eyes with the back of her free hand, the same one that had been caressing Tonks' head with such touching dedication. "I want them back, the both of them."

Harry felt a broad grin tug at the corners of his lips in front of Andromeda's stony determination. The war hadn't only reaped victims, after all; something good had ensued from the ashes, brighter prospects for a better future, a future that Harry wanted Remus and Tonks to enjoy with their son.

* * *

TBC

* * *

**A/N:** Hope's coming up, folks, and these people here want Remus and Tonks to be back as badly as we do. An Irish cookie for every review, or, if you're allergic to cookies, your fave HP character will be pleased to replace it with a date. ; )


	4. Guilt Bit The Werewolf

_Almost hope you're in Heaven  
So no one can hurt your soul  
Living in agony  
Cause I just do not know  
Where you are_

_(Within Temptation, Somewhere) _

* * *

Remus had lost his sense of time. He might have been lying wherever he was for hours, or days, or perhaps even just a few minutes, but it was impossible to tell. He'd heard the confused voices of the people around him, he'd felt their movements, but it was a kind of perception he couldn't even understand himself. His senses were off, yet he could _sense_ his surroundings, although not constantly and only vaguely, as if there was a cotton shell above him, muffling every sensation until it would become just a weak sensorial echo.

Unable to discern anything but his own thoughts, he'd waited for something to happen, wishing he would soon regain the contact with his body, but all happenings kept melting together out of rationality, and all he was left with were more questions, more doubts, more fears.

There were people around him. He couldn't really explain to himself how he knew this, but he just did, and he could feel them.

"Let's just keep our fingers crossed."

A young man had spoken. In Remus' memory, those words spontaneously associated to a freckled face and bright red hair.

"Shut up, Ron, it's going to work – it _has_ to."

A hasty girlish pitch, and the image of a hand darting up in the air rose in Remus' thoughts.

_Hermione. Ron and Hermione, and – _

"We're lucky Mrs Tonks knows her stuff about Potions." Whispered another boy.

_And Harry… _

By their solemn tones, Remus could tell something was up – something big. Whatever it was, he thought, it must have something to do with him, for all the different approaching voices seemed to be gathering all about him; as long as he knew, it could be his funeral.

During the unmeasurable time he had been struck in that sort of extracorporeal condition, he had sometimes been able to catch short fragments of conversations, the most of which between people he was aware he knew, but whose names and faces were nothing but dark, shapeless shades, but he found it hard, now, to recollect all the pieces and put them together. His capacity of remembering had failed him several times when he'd tried to dig up something from the confusion he had in his head. Whenever he would he would find something to grasp at, something else would slip away, and so on, leaving him wondering, but never knowing.

At the moment a deep silence had fallen in the room, or so he reckoned, as every slightest sound had vanished and all he could hear was his own stream of consciousness, his brain racing.

"Three drops on their lips, Andromeda," said Minerva McGonagall's vibrant voice. "Not one more, not one less."

A new memory surfaced unexpectedly from the dark recesses of Remus' mind. Dark eyes scrutinising him severely, a pair of dark familiar-looking lips, and a voice, a low, blue voice.

_"Take care of her, Remus. She's all I have, now, so look after her and protect her like Ted and I have always done. Take care of my Nymphadora." _

Andromeda had told him to take care of her daughter, to protect her, but had he really been able to do fulfil that purpose? He didn't know, and it was terrible to think he probably never would find out. The words 'failure' and 'unworthy' resonated horribly in his head.

_I didn't want it to be this way, Nymphadora, you deserved so much more, so much better than me… I only wish I'd told you one last time how much I love you… _

And all of a sudden, Remus felt pain all across his body, running through his veins like a liquid torture, and everything else dissolved in the furious violence of it all. The most surprising thing, however, was that he could finally _feel_ his body again. He arched and writhed, gasped desperately for air for his burning lungs, tormented by a hurt that was worse than any physical sufferance he could have ever imagined, and fought with all himself to survive it. It lasted long, interminable seconds, and for a moment Remus was sure the ache would drive him crazy, but then, just when he felt he was going to cross the line, everything stopped, as quickly as it had begun, and all he was left with was the feeling of his body weighting upon a bed and a very fast, frantic heartbeat.

As the shock slowly fizzled out, an undefined mixture of voices came louder and louder to his ears, and he started feeling the softness of the fabric he was clutching in his fists. A strong, unpleasant iron taste filled his mouth as he endeavoured to open his eyes to the dim yellowish light surrounding him.

"He's awake!"

"Back off, everyone, let him breathe!"

"Remus! Oh, dear goodness, thank you!"

"Remus is awake!"

The noises, the sounds, the voices, everything was too loud and deafening to Remus, whose hearing was still excessively sensitive after the temporary black out, just like all his other four senses.

He tried to blink his eyes into focus, wanting to discern all the blurred spots watching him from above.

"Remus?" McGonagall's voiced was calling him. "Can you see or hear us?"

He groaned and tried to move, but his muscles ached and felt like they had been frozen for a long time. He glanced sideways and spotted a pile of clean towels neatly settled on the night stand, and a small jug lying right beside, along with an empty glass. He didn't need to check out the rest of the room to identify it; he knew it well, Merlin only knew how many nights he'd spent in there, under a barely decrescent moon.

_The Hospital Wing in Hogwarts. _

He licked his lips and a strongly bitter taste came into contact with his tongue, spreading into his dry mouth. He immediately distinguished the peculiar taste of absinthe, then found the bitterness of valerian and the acidity of asphodel, two of the principal ingredients for the Draught of Living Death. This, along with acknowledging he was lying in one of the Hospital Wing's beds, made Remus rather anxious.

"Nymphadora…" he murmured, and found the sound of his own voice – hoarse and feeble – scarcely recognisable.

A choir of whispers filled the room, but no real answer came to him. Remus took it as a very bad sign. After another few seconds, he finally managed to discern every face and associate it with every voice. His head started pulsing whilst all the missing parts of his memory came back all at once, almost crushing him.

"I can't believe it worked." Exclaimed Ron, standing on the left side of Remus' bed with the rest of the Weasleys, except Bill and Fleur, who stood on the other side, with Harry, Hermione, professor McGonagall and Madam Pomfrey. Everyone was staring at him wearing faces that were halfway between relieved and concerned. At the bottom of the bed, Andromeda Tonks was looking at him with glossy eyes, holding something in her arms. It took Remus a moment to realise it was his son, and then everything else became trivial.

"Teddy!"

Ignoring his weakness, he tried to sit up and reached out with one hand toward his little boy. Arthur and Bill immediately helped him rest back against the pillow. Exhausted as he was, Remus seemed to find a new strength when Andromeda walked to him and gently laid Teddy in his arms.

He wrapped his arms as tightly as he could around the baby and looked down into his amber eyes – a perfect mirror to his own – at his tiny smile, and it was like his heart started beating for the first time.

"Oh, Teddy…"

Nobody dared speak, and Remus, whose eyes were now misted by tears, was thankful of this, because he really couldn't find anything to say. All he wanted was to enjoy the extraordinary feeling of holding his son again.

He didn't know what had happened, why he was in a bed with his clothes covered in blood, but all he cared about was that Teddy was fine, and he was with him. But there was something else he needed to know.

"Nymphadora," he said weakly, observing each of the people about him. "Where is she? Is she okay?"

There was an instant of hesitation and he noticed that nobody would look him in the eye. Something was wrong.

"What happened to her?" he asked, panic starting to mount within his chest.

After another moment, the people on his left moved apart, so that he could see the bed behind their backs, and the person lying in it, and as quickly as it had started beating again, his heart stopped.

Nymphadora's face was white and a long bloody cut ran from her cheekbone to her chin. So motionless and serene-looking, she appeared like she was sleeping, put her paleness – that unmistakable, marble paleness – could only belong to death.

"No!" uncaring of his lack of energies, Remus dragged himself out of the blankets, pushing Arthur and Molly aside as they tried to stop him, and, still holding Teddy safely in his embrace, he faltered to the other bed. "She can't! It can't – can't be –"

He fell on his knees in front of her, overwhelmed by the despair taking over him, and his hand groped to find hers, rigid and immobile, and yet unexpectedly warm.

_What did I do to you? This is all my fault… _

"Remus," Molly spoke tentatively, laying a hand on his shoulder. "She's – she's not dead, don't worry…"

"Molly's right, Remus," McGonagall intervened, taking a step closer to Nymphadora's bed. "You were in the same condition as her only a minute ago, but you're awake now. The Awakening Potion –"

"Awakening Potion?" Remus' head spun to her for a brief second in the woman's direction, then he looked at Nymphadora again, unable to believe his ears.

He knew what they were talking about, it had been his job to know, he just couldn't see how it could be possible. He took a small breath, trying to steady himself and soothe his dizziness, but it proved quite useless. Nymphadora's sight was even more painful than his awakening and definitely far more harmful.

"Is it really Somuns Kedavra?"

McGonagall nodded gravely. She looked slightly bewildered.

"Andromeda distilled the Potion," she explained, but her eyes gave away a remarkable amount of hesitation he couldn't help noting. "It was perfect, Horace agreed that it was absolutely impeccable, I – I don't understand, you were _both_ meant to awaken… I really don't know why –"

Remus squeezed his eyes and hung his head, holding Nymphadora's hand tighter. It was truly all his fault.

"I think I do, Minerva."

A dozen quizzical gazes fell on him. Remus felt his guilt scratch him inside, biting and slashing his soul into pieces. If only he had tried harder to protect her, if only he hadn't been so stupid…

"When we – when we were hit – by the curses, all I could think of was saving her, making sure she wouldn't – wouldn't be harmed." Remus was disgusted by the thought of what he was going to say, but that was the truth, and they deserved to know. "But a part of me, however small and unlistened, told me that – that she'd be better off dead, rather than left to live the mediocre life waiting for her after the war…"

The respectful silence in the room was devastating, he felt all the eyes fixed on him, and wondered how selfish and stupid he must seem to them all.

"Remus, I'm sure –"

"Molly, please," His voice cracked as two lonesome tears left his eyes, leaking down his strained face. One died on his neck, the other fell on Nymphadora's hand and was soon erased by his thumb, which was stroking her skin in small circles. "I put my guilty feelings before my wife's – my son's – welfare," he looked at Teddy, whose small fingers were firmly clenched to his robe, then cast a pained glance down at Tonks, whose face was as white as the sheets she was lying under. "And this is what I got."

"Perhaps it'll take longer for her," spoke Harry tentatively. "Or maybe the Potion –"

"The Potion was at its best, Harry."

Everyone turned behind to the wall across the room, startled by a known voice that none of them had surely expected to hear. Sitting on a table in the painting of a dead nature, Albus Dumbledore was smiling down at them, his elbows leaned on the golden frame.

"Good evening, folks," he greeted, lifting his hat in acknowledgement. "Very nice to see you all again."

Everybody was gaping up at Dumbledore like petrified, but Remus had more important things to think about. If he and Nymphadora had been under the Somnus Kedavra enchantment, then why hadn't she awoken with him?"

"What happened to her?" Remus asked Dumbledore, who seemed to know more than anyone else in the room.

Dumbledore, calm as ever, let out a faint sigh.

"She encountered the same destiny as you, Remus," he smiled reassuringly. "She's just gone a bit _further_, due to the reasons you have already explained yourself. But never mind, you've had the chance to meet a few old dear ones, I believe she has got a right to have the same pleasure before coming back, hasn't she?"

Remus' eyes grew wide at this revelation. Even though he couldn't understand what it meant, he knew that the only friends he would have wanted to meet were all dead. His heart shrank.

_Should I take it she's dead, too? _

"I don't understand." He said shakily. "I don't – don't remember –"

"You were in the Forbidden Forest," Harry meddled, stepping ahead between Molly and Fleur. Hermione gave a small sob, and Ron grabbed her hand between his. Nobody else seemed willing to utter a sound. "With me and my parents, and Sirius… You were some – some kind of ghost."

However hard he tired to recollect it, Remus had no memory of any such thing. He was sure he would have been able to remember it very clearly, if he had met Lily, James and Sirius, recently.

"Harry is right, Remus," Dumbledore continued. "Your soul wandered before being rejected by the _other side_ – which, incidentally, is now _my_ side," He grinned mischievously, as if he was telling something very amusing. "And so did Tonks'. But that belief you couldn't erase from your mind must have let her slip beyond the borderline. She's gone further than you, this is all, but she's still ready to come back any moment, just like you did."

Remus couldn't take his eyes off his wife. Not all hopes were lost, but he still felt miserable and lost in this world that he didn't recognise anymore, without her by his side.

He swallowed the knot in his throat and pressed his lips together.

"How?" he asked.

"I assume a new Awakening Potion would be an excellent start." Dumbledore nodded to himself. "And maybe a bit more powerful, this time?"

"But this one has taken us three days, Andromeda has already done her best!" protested McGonagall, her tone vaguely discomforted. Andromeda stood on her left, composed and elegant, like a priestess. "How can we be sure it will work, this time?"

"This is all up to Remus, Minerva." Dumbledore winked. "I think it is his turn to prove once again his old skills in Potions," They all watched as he turned on his heels and made to leave the painting, then, one moment before disappearing completely, he turned back, as though he had forgotten something. "Oh, and, Harry," he chuckled at the boy. "Severus tells me you might use some _princely_ tips for the new potion, perhaps?" He arched his brows allusively. "I suggest you take a look through the bookshelf in the Potions classroom."

Everybody gaped back and forth from him to Harry in inquiry, displaying blank and rather confused expressions. Harry's face, on the other hand, had apparently lit up after Dumbledore's enigmatic direction.

"What are you –?" professor McGonagall began, but Dumbledore interrupted her:

"Harry, Ron and Hermione know what I am talking about Minerva. Now, if you want to excuse me," He lifted his hat again in parting salute. "I have something pretty important to take care of. _Au revoir_." And a second later he was gone.

* * *

**A/N:** Yay, Remus is awake, at last. But, duh, Tonks is not. If you have a million new questions rising in your mind, they'll probably be answered in some future chapter, do not hesitate to ask anyways, I still might have missed something. ; )

Today reviews will be rewarded with Broom Cupboard Snogging Sessions, so choose your boy (or girl), take your ticket and queue, nobody will be left unstatisfied.


	5. A Matter Of Selfish Selflessness

* * *

_I'm hoping, I'm praying  
I won't get lost between two worlds_

_(Within Temptation, The Truth Beneath The Rose) _

* * *

"And how's it to be married to a werewolf? Bet you've had a damn load of problems, with all that Ministry restriction stuff and such…"

Tonks turned to her cousin, her cheeks hot and her head light and fuzzy, wondering how many more questions she'd have to answer before being able to bring out questions of her own.

She was walking through the corridors of Hogwarts with her three fellows, and none of them seemed to be interested in her whatsoever, but rather eager to find out as much as possible about every smallest detail they had missed after their deaths. It wasn't like she was bothered, but she really would like to understand as soon as possible how on earth she had ended up here, and, above all, why.

It was odd, and even somewhat scary, to walk around and spot known faces everywhere. She'd been explained that after dying, people would cross to the 'other side', in the same place from where they'd left, and in fact she had been quite shocked – unlike her three companions – to cross paths with a few knows faces on their way through the castle. And so her blood had frozen into her veins when Fred Weasley had waved his hand, grinning at her from a corner of the Great Hall, not squabbled whatsoever, and no one else had showed the slightest surprise, apart from Tonks herself.

"And how's our old, good Moony doing, down there?" Sirius jolted her back from her musings. "Playing the good Hubby and Daddy all the time?"

Tonks removed a lock of pink hair from her forehead wistfully.

_How's he, Sirius? Fine, at least as long as I know. He _was_ fine, but what now? _

"Remus is… Just great," she said, blushing a little. "He made me go through a living bloody hell before he finally took in he was fighting a long lost battle, trying to keep a safety distance between us." She shrugged. "Kind of – well, kind of stupid, you know, given the amount of totally wasted energies he put in something he didn't even really want himself."

Her heart cringed at the memory of the period she'd spent arguing with him every single day, the long nights they'd spent away between angry yells, apologetic whispers and exasperated silences. She had begged and moped for ages, and he'd just rambled on excuses, and kept giving her that sad, resigned smile that said 'I'm doing this for your own sake', but which she couldn't stand. Even as she had started feeling she would never make him understand there was nothing he could ever do to put down – or even remotely alter – how she felt about him, Dumbledore's death had miraculously turned everything upside down. And they'd had more rows, more discussions, but eventually – how that had happened, she didn't even know for sure – everything had collapsed into a memorable, sweetest kiss, and since then things had started smoothing out, until one wonderful day he'd asked her to become his wife.

"I'd lost my hopes about him getting somewhere with his life," Sirius commented contentedly. "He's always been such a socially inept prat…"

"You're being unfair, Sirius," Lily intervened as they passed by a large window, from which a limpid river was visible instead of the usual lake. "Easy for you to say, Daddy's boy, but being a werewolf has always conditioned his life heavily, and you, of all people, should know better."

Tonks couldn't help a faint sigh that went unnoticed.

_Yeah, tell me about it… _

Sirius grunted, hands tucked in his pockets, and shook his head. Tonks caught a glimpse of a melancholic shade across his face.

"Moony was the best of us all," James said. "Always been, and always will be." A nostalgic smile spread through his lips. "Had I had half of his guts and brains, it'd probably have been easier for Lily to discover something good in me," Lily poked him in his side and smiled indulgently, but said nothing. "And Mr Padfoot, here… Well, not much of a smartarse, is he?"

"Who are you calling Black, Pot-ter?" Sirius quipped. Tonks and Lily giggled, James didn't.

"And then, Wormtail…" he sighed. "I don't know how we can have been such fools, believing Moony could betray us, and not even considering Peter."

Lily cast a glance at him and Sirius.

"That was the problem, wasn't it? Even in school days," she had a moment of hesitation. "You two constantly showing off like peacocks, Remus being the charming, brilliant prefect… Peter was never like the three of you, nobody has ever noticed him in the shadows you cast upon him… Not even you – us." She stared down at the ground, her young features mutated into a mildly guilty face. "A little more consideration, perhaps –"

"Are you saying it's _our_ fault?" James exclaimed, stunned and wide-eyed.

"Look, it's not like it really matters now," Sirius cut in, a bit uneasily. "He's dead, too, isn't he? What is done is done, it's over, period. Let's not bore Nymphadora to death with our regrets."

"I would appreciate it if you spared me your jokes about death, coz, thank you." Said Tonks gloomily. "And don't call me that, you know how I hate it."

She was getting seriously nervous. She didn't remember that crossing the whole castle took so long, but everything in this place seemed to move in slow motion, more calmly and smoothly than she was used to.

"I have only one last question, if you don't mind." Said Lily timidly. Tonks, meeting her kind gaze, couldn't refuse.

"Go ahead."

"You're a mother, too, so you will understand why I am asking you this, and why I need you to be absolutely honest to me," Lily's green eyes were misty and scrutinising her intensely. "Do you think Harry has any chance to survive this war?"

Tonks stopped frozen in her tracks at the bottom of the stairs whist the other three climbed a few steps before realising she wasn't following them. Images of Teddy in mortal danger flashed through her thoughts, causing her to shiver and her stomach to twitch fastidiously. She'd left him alone, anything could happen to him, and even if she was aware her mother was a mighty witch, she was also aware that all the powers in the world wound ever be enough to stop Voldemort's slaughter.

_Harry's going to make it, of course he is… He _has_ to. _

She rose her look towards the three people staring at her expectantly and bit her lower lip, doing her best to fight the lump swelling in her throat, which started to ache because of the effort she was making in trying to gulp back the cold tears collecting along her eyelids. She didn't know what was happening below – or wherever the living world was – and didn't even had an idea of how long she had been away from there, but she certainly would have liked to know, just to make sure Remus was alright, because, after all, that was the reason why she had gone to Hogwarts, in first place.

_Yes, Lily, I think Harry will make it, because there are too many freshmen on this side of the Veil already, and someone has to stop this massacre. _

Her want to meet her father grew as she was reminded of much he missed him, and how unfair his fate had been.

"I trust Harry with all myself," she stated. "And I believe in him." She looked Lily in the eye, two curls tugging at the corners of her mouth. "He'll make it, if he hasn't made it already."

Lily smiled gratefully, swallowing the tears Tonks could clearly see in her emerald eyes, and nobody spoke again. They walked in silence through a long, bright corridor Tonks didn't bother to try and recognise, until James stopped in front of a dark wooden door. He turned to the others for a moment, then rose his hand and knocked three times of the heavy wood.

"Come in." said a voice at once, and Tonks' back was shaken by a light shiver: she hadn't heard this voice for two years, now. A kind yet vaguely mischievous voice, Dumbledore's voice.

James turned the knob and pushed the door, which opened with a loud, prolonged _creek_.

The room that appeared to Tonks' sight was identical to the Headmaster's office where so often she had ended up in her school days, and there was another detail that made her feel exactly like the fourteen-year-old girl she had been ten years ago: Dumbledore sat behind the desk, thumbing a pile of papers with a quill in his hand, ticking his long, silvery beard. He only looked up when Sirius cleared his throat, and his eyes enlightened when they set on Tonks.

"Ah, yes, Nymphadora!" Dumbledore stood on his feet and left whatever he was doing to hurry toward her, as though she was a special guest to a party. Tonks shuddered at the mention of her name. "I was actually wondering when you would come, my dear." He eyed her in a way she could only describe as conspiratorial. "I'd been informed by very reliable sources that you looked quite – ah – _off_ is the word, perhaps?" He conceded himself a gentle laugh. "But I must say I am very pleased to find you in amazing shape."

Nibbling uncomfortably at her bottom lip – and thoroughly uncaring of the basic rules of conversational courtesy she was going to break – Tonks couldn't help uttering the question she was longing to ask.

"Can I see my father?"

Dumbledore's blue eyes sparkled behind his spectacles as he smiled at her indulgently.

"Everything in due course, my dear, I am under the impression you have already had an excess of emotions, already, so – sit down, my dear – everyone," He beckoned at the other three guests. "Sit down and make yourself comfortable."

But Tonks, jittery as she was, was not very inclined toward the idea of doing anything but blurt out all the questions she had blooming on her lips.

"Do you – do you know anything about Remus?" she asked shakily, feeling her own lips trembling while forming the words. "What's going on down there? How many –?"

"Harry has won," said Dumbledore, suddenly assuming a solemn tone. He scrutinised Tonks intensely, then Sirius, James and Lily, everyone holding their breaths, and smiled affably but sadly. "Voldemort is gone, and this time forever, and it is also thanks to you."

There was a moment of disbelieving dismay. Tonks didn't know whether the feeling she felt in her swelling heart was relief for Dumbledore's news or fear for the part of her question he had avoided answering. Another pause followed, and everybody seemed to muse over everything Voldemort's final defeat implied, and for endless seconds Tonks was left with her wearing doubts, then James, whose eyes were misty and wide, moved forward, his forehead creased in inquiry:

"What do you mean by 'it is also thanks to you'?"

"You were there, James," explained Dumbledore. "You, Lily and Sirius, and Remus, as well." Tonks' heart skipped a beat because of the invisible blade that had just stabbed her, and was now mercilessly tearing her apart.

_What's the point? Why was Remus anywhere with three dead people? _

"You helped Harry win the war," Dumbledore continued. "The only difference is that the three of you came back here, and Remus went back to his body."

"But," Sirius exchanged confused looks with James and Lily. "None of us –"

"Remembers?" Dumbledore's eyes sparkled smilingly from behind the lenses of his spectacles. "Of course not, you were there for a limited time, as mere guests in a world that is not yours anymore. You did what you had to, and then, when your help was no longer required, you came back here. But you couldn't keep any memory of what you did, for only alive people can keep memories of the Living world, and you, my friends, are – forgive the bluntness – unquestionably dead. And for the same reason Nymphadora, here, will not be able to recall anything about the little time she's spending with us now, when she'll return to where she belongs: being alive, it is technically impossible for her to remember of Death." He grinned ay each of them. "Do you understand?"

"I… Think so." James said, and Sirius and Lily nodded their heads hesitantly.

"But – Remus!" Tonks stuttered, fear rising inside her. "What about him? If he was there, it means –?"

"No, my dear, Remus is not dead, this is out of any reasonable doubt." He stated, so confidently that Tonks could not help believing him blindly, and soon a nice warmth sprang inside her. "I would in fact say that he is – thanks to your mother's skills in Potions and desire to guarantee your utmost happiness – definitely alive, at the moment, and faithfully waiting with your son for you to join them."

"He's alive?" Her voice was trembling, just like her cold hands, but a sparkle of hope had lit up inside her. "He's with Teddy? Are they okay?"

Dumbledore nodded.

As a warm wave of relief took over her, Tonks felt Sirius' arms encircle her protectively and rock her gently. She didn't know how all of this was possible, but she didn't care. If Remus was safe, and Teddy was as well, then she could die, now, and it would be a serene death.

"His situation was slightly different from yours, you see," said Dumbledore, as if reading her mind. "Your determination to do anything in your power to prevent his death was so strong to keep his soul stably rooted to his body, so that it didn't get lost, when it could not enter here. His own determination, however, was contaminated by the guiltiness he couldn't help feeling because of what he did to you and your son."

In Sirius's embrace, Tonks felt she was on the verge of tears. All the times she had argued with Remus about his condition, all the times she had told him it didn't matter, because what they felt each other was everything that counted, all of that had been vain, and she had always known, but she loved him, and she understood. "If I know him," Dumbledore went on. "And I do, trust me – he is strongly convinced that he did but cause harm to the two people he loves most, and this accidentally deviated his will to save you toward the irrational thought that it would probably be better for you if he would just… Let you go."

Sirius' jaw dropped in shock.

"Moony wanted her dead?"

Tonks knew that nibbling at her nails was a very bad habit, but the conversation was getting a little too close to home.

_This is ridiculous… _

"No, Sirius," Dumbledore replied affably, starting pacing the room, back and froth from his desk to the window. "Do not misunderstand me, what Remus did was, in his perspective, absolutely sensed: he was afraid his wife would live forever as an outcast because of him, and obviously his unconscious thought was that death would be better than anything he could ever offer. He was, of course, thoroughly wrong, but this was enough to reduce his still very powerful effort to save Nymphadora's life."

"So he still wished her to live more than he wished to spare her a life as a werewolf's wife?"

"Indeed, Lily, he did." He addressed Tonks a reassuring smile. "In fact, selfishness has never missed a chance to lead the noblest intention astray."

"Selfishness?" Sirius' eyebrows were furrowed in confusion, and maybe even indignation. Tonks had the impression he was taking Remus' defence. "I thought we were talking about the greatest act of selflessness ever – to give up your life for somebody else –"

Dumbledore's grin didn't falter the least.

"But, you see, Sirius, when you decide to die in place of a beloved one – be it your spouse," he turned to Tonks, and her heart cringed. "Or you son –" He gave James and Lily a small smile. "It is because you love them, and would do anything to protect them, this is undeniable, but also – you would rather die than even think about spending the rest of your life in grief for losing the most important thing, wouldn't you?"

"That stupid Gryffindor-blooded git!" Sirius cried, displaying an indignant face. "Always putting the others before himself, even when he's trying to be an egoist."

A short pause followed, then Tonks' weak sniffle broke the silence as she nodded her head.

"It's – it's what I thought," she muttered, arms enveloped around herself, her body – or whatever it was, if her material body was still on the other side of the Veil – suddenly feeling cold. "The way I felt before I was invested by the jet of green light… I couldn't have lived without Remus, so I – I chose to die in his place, because – sooner or later, without him, I would have died anyway."

And even if Sirius' and Dumbledore's faces were clearly tinted by a hue of emotion, it was in Lily's and James' watery eyes that Tonks found a mirror to her own feelings. Their fate hadn't been much different from her own – from Remus': the war had destroyed their family just like it had destroyed hers, and the unfairness of this, the awareness that no sacrifice would ever be the last, was a crushing burden to bear.

Dumbledore made to speak again, but a knock of the door interrupted him.

"Yes?"

The door opened slowly, with a piercing, loud creak, and a head poked in, a black, greasy head that Tonks happened to know pretty well. Her eyes glistened with hate as she broke away from Sirius' arms, fuming.

"You!"

An unpleasant, disgusted snigger came in response.

"Good morning, Nymphadora."

* * *

TBC


	6. The Prince's Secret Ingredient

_Reach for my hand,  
Let's show them that we can  
Free our minds and find a way  
The world is in our hands,  
This is not the end _

_(Within Temptation, See Who I Am) _

* * *

Harry didn't care if he'd left anyone speechless and run out of the Hospital Wing without a word, nor did he care about Ron and Hermione's voices calling after him, begging him to slow down a bit. All he had in his mind was the clear image of the shelves in the Potion classroom, where he knew that, somewhere among dusty old textbooks and forgotten vial shards, a very precise book was hidden, a book which carried an unmistakable mark and would help him bring Tonks back. 

_The Half-Blood Prince's book_.

He kept running through the corridors and down the long, moving stairs, his lungs burning for the lack of oxygen, his knees feeling jelly-like for the sudden effort. He had spent the last three days in complete rest, trying to figure out the proportions of what he and the rest of the world had just gone through, but it wasn't over yet. Tonks was still lying in that bed, still lingering between two worlds, and he wouldn't find peace until her eyes would open again, and he could see her heart-melting smile one more time.

"Harry!" Hermione's voice was shouting from behind his back. "Harry, wait!"

But Harry didn't want to wait; all he wanted – all he could think of – was to find that damn book and as soon as possible, for he knew he was partly responsible of the whole situation.

His eyes lingered on the dust and the wreckage still littering the floors, and even though little had been actually shed, there was a strong smell of blood in the cool air. Three days had already passed since Voldemort's fall, since the beginning of the new era, but Hogwarts was still an unburied skeleton in a world that was struggling to rise again.

He panted as he turned a corner, mouth dry. The dungeons were dark and humid, but felt colder than ever today, without the colourful crowds of chatting students cramming the place. He wondered if this school would ever be the same again, now.

He felt a twitch in his stomach when he spotted the Potion classroom door, left ajar just a few metres ahead of him. He sped up and darted into the room, slalomed through the desks and flung himself to the cupboard. His fingers burst the two shutters open and for a moment the incredible number of books and the absolute chaos they were in discouraged him, but then he reminded himself what was at stake, and a new strength fuelled him.

A second later, Hermione and Ron rushed in, panting and puffing, but he didn't bother to turn back to them.

He continued his restless quest, cursing inwardly as the seconds went by and the textbook was still unfound. His two friends approached him slowly, almost carefully, and stared at him for a long minute of silence, then Hermione bit her lip and spoke:

"Harry," Her high-pitched, fretful voice sounded distant to Harry's ears. "Harry, what are you –?"

"The Prince's book," he said brusquely, rummaging through the shelves in seek of the right one. "It must be here, somewhere…"

Hermione shared a worried look with Ron.

"Harry, the Prince's book is in the Room of Requirement," she stuttered tentatively, as if she was dealing with a mentally instable person. "You –"

"That's the sixth year book, we need the seventh year one… Somnus Kedavra is taught during the seventh year." Harry replied hastily, never taking his eyes off the series of titles before him. His hands roamed up and down, left and right, feverishly, greedily, but apparently in vain.

"Harry – uh…" Ron stepped forward, hands uncomfortably tucked in his pockets. "Don't you think that – well – maybe some other student –?"

Harry stopped dead for a fleeting moment, his breath frantic as his stomach suddenly felt like it had been filled with lead. No, he hadn't considered that option, nor he was anywhere near inclined towards considering it now. He needed to believe it was here, hidden somewhere right under his nose.

He could hear Ron and Hermione whispering behind his back, probably contemplating the possibility that he had gone mad.

"Why don't you give me a hand, instead of speculating about my mental health?" Harry blurted. Why wouldn't they understand how important it was to find that stupid book?

Images of Tonks' white face flashed through his mind, Teddy's desperate cry resonated in his memory. Harry's mother had died and hadn't been able to see her son grow up, and Harry often felt forsaken, even if he knew he should be glad to his parents for their sacrifice. But Teddy, for Teddy it was different: his mother still had a chance to see and live all those things Lily had missed. Besides, Harry was very fond of Tonks, and therefore very eager to free her from Somnus Kedavra, so now, facing his two speechless best friends, he was wondering why they did not seem to be caring at all.

"Why aren't you moving a bloody muscle?" he bellowed, clenching his fists. "What's wrong with the two of you? I'm still hurt by what we've been through, too, y'know? I'm tired, too, distraught, too, but why – why the hell you don't seem any willing to bring Tonks back?"

Harry looked at them panting, his eyes burning in frustration, shifting from Ron to Hermione almost daringly. Fuming, he was ready to burst out shouting anew, when he realised Ron's eyes were glossy and staring at the ground, Hermione's hand on his shoulder.

"I – I really want to bring Tonks back," Ron murmured. "I just – y'know, wish there was a way to – to bring Fred back as well…"

Harry's heart sank as a tear fell on Ron's hand. Ron gave a small sound, an hybrid between a laugh and a sob.

"I know it's stupid, but –"

"It's not stupid," said Harry. "It's what everybody would hope, Somnus Kedavra or not." He swallowed hard, trying to remember how often he had dreamed to have his parents back, with just a little turn of one special hourglass. "But we can't, and, as sad as it is, it's never going to change. But Tonks," his voice trembled slightly. "Tonks can come back, she can have her life again… Teddy can live with his mum by his side, and it all depends on a book."

No further words were needed. Ron glanced sideways at Hermione and she smiled at him warmly. Ron gulped and nodded at Harry, then walked past Harry and started searching.

Hermione gave Harry a small smile.

"Well said," she mouthed, then she and Harry joined Ron.

"How can we be sure it's really here?" asked Ron after a while.

"Dumbledore said so." answered Hermione in a definitive tone. Harry nearly laughed, but something caught his attention before he could even understand why. Under a pile of old handbooks, covered in dust, lay a black leather book, open and facedown, grazed all over the cover, which carried a faded writing.

_Advanced N.E.W.T. Potions_.

Harry quickly removed the other books and took it in his hands as a light shiver crossed his spine. It was the right one, he just felt it.

He kept his breath and stared at the book, which shook vaguely in his grip. As soon as they noticed, Ron and Hermione turned to him, gaping down at what he was holding.

It took Hermione a few seconds to be able to speak.

"Is it –?"

Without a word, Harry lifted the front cover and scanned the first page till the bottom, where he found a well-known sentence written in an equally well-known handwriting.

_This book is property of the Half-blood Prince_.

-------

"Severus' book," McGonagall was thumbing every page in sheer daze, her eyes blazing over the titles of the chapters, looking for the right one. Unfortunately, some pages were missing and everyone hoped none of those they needed was among them. "It's incredible, and yet – well, it explains a lot, I suppose."

She looked up at Harry with a very small but definite smile, and he felt his cheeks turn red. He had forgotten that his latest and suddenly excellent marks in Potions had been discussed a lot by the teachers. It was unbelievable that a year had already passed since then.

"There are a few corrections in the original version. It says it's more powerful if we brew it all in a day, and also," McGonagall cast a look at the people in the room to stop on Lupin. "It says that it takes your happiest memory, Remus."

Standing by Tonks' side with Teddy happily gurgling in his arms, Lupin furrowed his brows.

"My happiest memory?" he asked, abashed. He sounded like McGonagall had spoken in another language, but Harry could see his point: he'd never heard of _memories_ employed for making potions.

McGonagall nodded her head and left the book on Madam Pomfrey's desk, took off her spectacles and walked in front of Tonks' bed. She observed her for long moments, her lips stoically pressed together, although she couldn't completely hide the touched expression her face bore. Harry knew McGonagall had always had a secret weakness for brats – Fred and George, and also his father and the Marauders – and it wasn't really hard to imagine an eighteen-year-old Tonks – not much different from now – going around Hogwarts causing troubles, just like a new generation Marauder. The mere thought made him smile.

"If you're ready," McGonagall said to Lupin. "I think we can start brewing the new Potion immediately.

Lupin was visibly tired, but even more visibly concerned, and by the pain in his eyes Harry could tell he would cross the world, if necessary. He hadn't left little Teddy for a single moment, so far, as if he was grasping at the one concrete connection between him and his wife.

Lupin took Teddy's tiny hand in his and smiled softly as a fain sigh escaped from his lips.

"Mummy is going to be fine." He whispered to the baby, then gazed up at everyone else, looking tough and strong. "I'm ready."

* * *

**A/N:** Short chapter, sorry, but I promise the last three ones are going to be way longer and better. Reviews are, as always, very much appreciated and if you haven't had enough yet of the Snogging Sessions (honestly, who would?), I am pleased to inform you that today they will be taking place by the lake (how romantic!). 


	7. Remus' Happiest Memory

_Say my name  
So I will know you're back, you're here again  
For a while, oh, let us share  
The memories that only we can share  
Together _

_(Within Temptation, Say My Name) _

* * *

The Awakening Potion was shimmering like liquid light into the chalice he had in his hands. Remus had followed every single note the Prince – or better, _Severus_ – had scribbled in the margins of the old book, and for seven long hours he been working restlessly, at deep night, only able to think about her – his beautiful, adorable, beloved Nymphadora – and nobody had dared to come and disturb him, apart from Andromeda. Two hours ago, the woman had knocked at the door of what once had been Severus' office to bring him something to eat, which he had kindly refused with a tired but grateful smile. Andromeda had said nothing; she'd laid the plate full of roasted potatoes and rice on the desk and left without a word. Remus hadn't even given a second look at the food.

Now, about three hours later, a rosy dawn was rising and a pale, milky light had started creeping over the hills on the horizon, slowly stretching its lazy golden beams towards the large windows.

Remus sighed, propped to the working table with his palms, and glanced down at his left: wrapped up in his soft blanket, soundly asleep in an improvised crib, lay his little Teddy, holding his tiny fists at the sides of his head. His hair was jet black.

_You miss her, too, don't you? _

There was only a missing ingredient for the Potion, the most important one, the crucial one.

_My happiest memory. _

He seriously didn't know where to start. What was it? The moment he had received his long-desired letter from Hogwarts? Or when Sirius, James and Peter had decided to become Animagi for him? No, it was indeed a very happy memory, but not the happiest. His real happiness had begun only a few years ago, when one young pink-haired witch had burst into his life out of nowhere and turned everything upside down.

He had lost everything, and she had given him a new everything to fight for, a new reason to wake up and strive through every day.

_I live for you, Nymphadora. _

But everything he could think of – their first kiss, the wedding, Teddy's birth – didn't feel good enough. There had been another moment, in his recent past, that had made him happier than ever before. The moment he had known that nothing would ever be lost, because, as long as the woman he loved was with him, everything was alright.

_But you are not with me, now… _

He took a chair and sank in it next to Teddy's crib, where he rested his folded arms. Teddy's slow breath was like a silent lullaby, rocking Remus through his memory, and all the times – joyful and sad – flowed in his mind, all melted up into one, becoming just a river of mixed feelings. But there was something floating above this river, a moment that he would never forget, because it had been the moment of his real gift: second chances were a luxury, in life, and he had ruined his by doing the most stupid thing ever. And yet, despite his unforgivable mistake, he had got a third, undeserved chance, which he would always treasure as the most beautiful gift he had ever been given.

-

_At one o'clock in the night, a heavy, cold rain was pouring from the darkest sky he remembered having ever seen, as if the weather had been enchanted to mirror his inner mood. _

_Remus was feeling worse than he had ever felt, worn by his guiltiness and the awareness that he had absolutely no right to do this. As he trudged through the rain, boots stomping into the muddy path, he didn't dare rising his eyes onto the house he was heading to. _

_His sight was misted by the thick rain, falling upon him like a shower of sharp needles, assaulting the skin of his face. He bent his head, clenching his fists inside the coat pockets, and squeezed his eyes. _

_He had no right to go back to her like this, he knew this better than anything else, and yet, even if his eyes were burning and he had a sour knot in his throat, even if he felt arrogant and vile for what he was going to do, he kept walking. Ahead of him, a faint yellow light was glowing from behind one of the windows of his destination. _

_Grazed and torn inside by the nails of cruel regret, he strode over the wet paving leading to the front door, uncaring of the pools he encountered on the way, uncaring of anything but his own foolishness. _

_How could he have been so stupid? Had he really believed Tonks' life would have been better if he had died during some heroic mission, that she would have thanked him for leaving her alone in the middle of a pregnancy? _

_Remus bit his lip in sorrow and cursed himself for his egoistic blindness. He wouldn't blame her if she wouldn't forgive him, but he needed to apologise to her, to tell her something he should have told her long before. _

_"Dora! You've been standing there all the day, dear, why don't you come back inside and lie down for a while?" _

_Andromeda's voice jolted him back from his thoughts. Automatically, he lifted his look: Nymphadora was leaning on one side to the doorframe, the door left ajar behind her, wiping her eyes with a hand, the other resting on her swollen stomach. Remus' heart skipped a beat. _

_He heard Andromeda call her again, but Tonks just ignored her and closed the door once for all. Remus noticed she was wearing only a pair of shorts and an old, baggy sweater that made her look even thinner than usual. He thought instinctively that it was harmful for her and the baby, but then again, he had already done them all the harm possible, and it was very hypocrite of him, now, to demand to take care of them. _

_He watched Nymphadora wrap her arms around herself, the black sweater sleeves covering her pale hands almost entirely as she nibbled at her purple nails. It was then that she saw him. _

_When she rose her chin, the weak light of the rare streetlamps fell on her face, stressing her tense features. She was noticeably tired, and according to the redness around her ice-grey eyes, she had been crying for a while. Her hair had turned a dark shade of blue, laying long and lank on her half bare, bony shoulders. She literally lit up at his sight and her arms fell on her sides in astonishment as she stood straight, although seemingly unable to move from her spot. _

_Overtaken by his own emotions, Remus couldn't help speeding up in her direction, arms stretched forward as she launched in them, barely keeping herself together. _

_"Remus!" _

_Her voice was nothing more than a breath, a feeble whisper that went lost as she buried her face in his neck, sobbing silently. _

_Remus didn't remember having ever been so glad to see someone in his life. He had given up the hope to hug her again – to even manage to talk to her again – but here she was, holding him so tight that her belly was squeezed against his abdomen. And then, in that very moment, when his lips were just about to meet Nymphadora's, he felt the baby move. _

_"Oh my –" _

_It had happened so fast and so unexpectedly that he hadn't even had the time to actually realise what it was, nor to memorise the extraordinary sensation the whole thing had provoked, but all of a sudden everything became real and concrete: he was married to this incredible girl, who loved him and whom he loved more than he had anybody else before, and, absurd as it sounded, it was amazingly true. Before he could even start reflecting about it, though, he felt Tonks' cold hands lead his own down to lie on her stomach. _

_He looked at her: her expression was sweet, loving, profoundly emotional, and she didn't bear any sign of resentment or indecision. She was happy to see him, and it couldn't have been more obvious. _

_The baby moved again under his palms, and a couple of timid grins formed on his and Tonks' faces. Remus felt like a real idiot for having even thought about leaving her alone. _

_"I'm sorry, baby," he muttered to her, his hands moving to cup her cheeks as he leant his forehead on hers. "I'm really so sorry, I shouldn't have –" _

_"You needed some time on your own," Nymphadora's fingers had sealed his mouth. "I understand this." A smile faltered on her lips. "I knew you'd come back, I was waiting for you." _

_Remus was at a loss for words. Whatever he could say, would never sound the way he meant it, and there were just too many things that simple words could never express. _

_"It's just that –" His thumbs stroked her gently. "I don't deserve you, Nymphadora," he glanced down at the bump under her sweater. "I don't deserve any of this, and I…" It was such a crazy thing, in his mind, that he could hardly believe it was real. He had never though he would ever say this to someone. "_I love you_, the both of you." _

_"I love you, too." She breathed. _

_To Remus' ears, it was nearly too great to believe. _

_"Do you?" _

_Tonks took his face between her hands and stroked his chapped skin with the softness of her fingertips. _

_"Yes, Remus, I do." She reclined her head slightly. "Is it so absurd to you?" _

_"I thought that… After what I did –" _

_But she shook her head patiently. _

_"I don't care about what you did, Remus, past is past," Her forehead touched his and she smiled reassuringly. "I love you." _

_She had told him before, so may times that he had forgotten how immensely wonderful it was to believe it. But still he couldn't see why a marvellous girl like her would want to stay with a starcrossed man like him. _

_"In spite of all the horrible things I did to you?" he asked feebly, but the answer was already twinkling in Nymphadora's eyes. _

_"Yes." _

_"Despite I am what I am?" _

_"This is what has never been clear to you, Remus." She replied with a light hint of amusement in her tone. "I don't love you _despite_ you are what you are… I love you _because_ you are what you are." _

_Remus was so stunned that the millions of words forming in his brain couldn't seem to find their way to his mouth. Tonks observed him affectionately for long seconds and just returned the intensity of his dazed gaze, and a new, pleasant thought hit him. _

I'm home

_"I had a check up this morning, you know," she whispered softly, hands resting on his wet chest, and he found her voice throaty and slightly shaky. "The baby is healthy, and he's – just perfect… He's not going to be a werewolf." She sniffled as she squeezed him tighter, but in a joyful, serene way. "He's not going to be like you," A watery smile tugged at the corners of her lips. "But I'll love him all the same." _

_-_

Remus had to open his eyes to realise he was clutching at the border of the desk. He was unconsciously holding his breath, his eyebrows creased in affliction. Living that moment again had proved harder than he had imagined. Nymphadora's absence was affecting him more than he cared to admit. He constantly felt like walking on thin ice, without her, as though his trust in the world dwelled in her eyes, in the sound of her laugh, and without it everything was only the old, unfriendly hell again. Now that she'd become an integral part of him, the empty place she'd left on his side made him feel like he was living by halves, like everything was split and incomplete.

He straightened up and glanced sideways: Teddy was quietly babbling, fully awaken, stretching his chubby little hands in the air, waving them towards Remus, his mouth hitched by what couldn't be but a carefree toothless grin..

A warm smile painted across Remus' lips as his heart swelled with affection and pride.

"Come here, little marauder." He said lovingly, and lifted the baby boy into his arms.

He filled with emotion, a new strength rising in him as Teddy's giggles caressed his soul like a healing spell, and he reminisced the sense of almightiness he had felt when he and Nymphadora had first set their eyes on their son.

"What did I do to deserve something so wonderful like you and you mother?"

Teddy replied with a loud squeal and giggled again. Remus couldn't smother a low laugh himself.

Without taking his eyes of his child, he took his wand from the pocket of his robe and pointed it at his temple. When, a second later, he pulled it away, a thin, silver string fluctuated along, glistening in the dawnlight. Remus approached the tip of the wand to the chalice and with a small prod let the memory fall in it. The silver melted at once with the opalescent white of the potion, turning it a pearly shade of pink.

Remus found it quite funny: a pink potion was exactly what one would expect to use in order to awaken a girl like Tonks.

He took the goblet into his free hand and then look down at Teddy with a conspiratorial smile.

"And now, big boy, let's go and bring Mum back."

-------

When Remus entered the room, his first thought was that it was deserted. All the lights were off (except a candle by Tonks' bed), every curtain closed, and the quietness was almost frightening. A shiver ran though his spine the moment when the words 'deadly silence' popped out in his mind.

But then the momentary fear dissolved into relief: Andromeda was sitting asleep by Nymphadora's side, head nestled over her folded arms, just next to her daughter's hand, which she was holding firmly. All about the room, one by one, Remus could spot all the others: Arthur snoring onto one of the free beds, Molly peacefully slumbering beside; Harry, Ginny, Ron and Hermione squashed together on the floor, resting back against the wall; Minerva's head hanging to her chest, deeply asleep. Bill and Fleur, hand in hand, lay on the bed opposite to Tonks', a few inches from a window from which a sharp ray of light penetrated the velvet curtain like a golden blade, going to lie right on Nymphadora's inexpressive face.

Not uttering a sound, he headed to his wife, Teddy cuddled against his chest, the chalice safely kept between his fingers.

He knelt down by the bed and laid the chalice on the nightstand, trying not to wake Andromeda up, then stopped to contemplate Tonks' young looks. She still had a whole life ahead of her, and this unbelievable experience had let him understand that it was only her choice how to live it and with whom. Not some sodding Death Eater's, nor Voldemort's, and surely not his.

Nymphadora's time had been cut too soon and too unfairly, and he was going to give it back to her. Because she had a right to see everything she hadn't seen yet, and enjoy what she hadn't yet enjoyed, and, above all, because he was selfish enough to admit that the prospect of a future without her made no sense whatsoever to him.

He cupped her face with a hand and found her colder than he remembered. He sighed; it hurt him to see her like this.

When he look up, he met a pair of dark eyes – tired and sad – scrutinising him intently. He hadn't even realised she had woken up. Andromeda kept staring at him with a piecing gaze that Remus couldn't help associating to Nymphadora's: deep, intense, with barely hinted sensual undertones, even in a moment like this. What made her so different from her daughter was the lack of that sparkle of innocence mixed to mischief that was Tonks' trademark, the thing that had captured Remus' fondness in first place. Now, looking straight into Andromeda's glossy eyes, he easily recognized the adamantine stubbornness and temper of his Nymphadora.

"I trust you, Remus," Andromeda murmured, glancing at the steamy Potion on the stand. "I know I've been cold to you, but – I want to apologise, now, because," she set her hand on his and pressed her lips together, moved. "I saw what the two of you did for each other. You sacrificed your life for my daughter, and she did the same for you… For love… And you, together, defeated death."

_We haven't defeated death, yet_, Remus thought bitterly, but nonetheless he was thankful to Andromeda for the support she was showing him. It was actually more than he would have dared hoping for, especially after Ted's death.

"I know you can do this." Added Andromeda. Her attempt to smile vanished into a sniffle; she withdrew her hand and placed it over her mouth, facing away. He watched as the woman stood up and walked away, heading to a table the other side of the room and pour herself a glass of water, her muffled sobs resonating gloomily within the stones of the walls.

Fuelled by a new self-confidence, Remus brushed his lips against Teddy's forehead and dipped a finger into the thick Awakening Potion. He took a deep breath, swallowed, then took his finger above Nymphadora's slightly departed lips and let three drops fall in her mouth.

He didn't know what to expect. He could remember his Awakening as a very painful process, but how long would it take for her? Would it really work? He couldn't stand not to know what was going on inside of her.

"I – I need you to come back, Nymphadora," he whispered to her, leaning forward. "I need this, because I can't be alive if you're not..." It was scary to even think how true it was. He sat down next to he and grabbed her hand, still holding Teddy with his left arm, cradling him gently as he started getting fidgety. "Teddy's hair has turned black now, and he's so nervous… I guess he knows unconsciously that you're far away from him, and misses you… We both do – so much. And I'm pleading – supplicating you – please – _please_, come back and make everything alright again."

But the seconds turned into minutes, and Nymphadora was still lying there, motionless and pale, and nothing had changed.

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TBC

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**A/N:** I love this chapter, it's very powerful and emotional, and, as I promised, it was longer than the previous, and way more interesting, imho. I really hope you liked this, too. There are two last chapters to go, I'd love to know what you think about this. : )


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